Toxic Leadership

We have focused on leadership and the key attributes of great leaders so far this week.  Today we will look at the worst type of leader and raise your awareness to the behaviors of insecure leaders.

For many of us that have been in the workforce for a few years, we have experienced many different types of leaders.  There are those that are inspirational, motivating, thoughtful, mentors and unafraid to build great teams with people that are more skilled then them in many areas.  Then there are leaders that do not belong in a position of leadership – Insecure leaders.

Insecure leaders are dangers. Dictionary.com shows the reason why these leaders can be dangerous. Insecurity is defined as being, “subject to fear & doubt, anxious, a risk & danger, and not firmly or reliably placed.” When insecurity is present in a leaders life it becomes a cap to their influence and effectiveness. It hurts the people around them, and the organization.

Insecure leaders are highly threatened by the truth, by facts, by transparency and by honesty.  In order to protect their lofty, undeserved positions of power, they campaign against talented people that pose a threat to their positions.  They lie, they commit to tasks that they never deliver upon, they mislead co-workers, they fail to communicate, they miss deadlines, they undermine all positive things and worst of all, they are toxic to the companies they work for, creating environments of distrust and ineffectiveness.  They make excuses about every deadline they miss or every project they fail to do because they say “I was too  busy”, “I have too many other things to do”, “I did not understand the process”, or “I don’t care about the process, I just needed to get something done”.  Of course, all that means is that the people that know how to get it done right will now have to fix it, wasting much more time and creating both employee and client dissatisfaction.

Insecure leaders like to distract employees and business partners by focusing on tasks that are not important or do not create customer or employee benefit/value.  They want to find that one nugget of information that substantiates their beliefs so they can use it to their advantage and create a hostile environment.  This is how they maintain control.  This “rope a dope” technique of focusing people on unimportant, irrelevant topics is part of their modus operandi to distract their co-workers from focusing on their leadership and managerial inadequacies.  They are the masters of publicly agreeing to key strategies in meetings with their bosses, only to undermine these decisions in conversations with their subordinates.  You might hear a statement like, “Although this was the agreed to decision, it will never work”, or “This is what I committed to, but let’s do it this way.” Have you heard any of these before?

A leader who is insecure cannot successfully lead those around them. This is because their actions, attitude, and motives are controlled and driven by their personal insecurity. Below are some negative characteristics and unhealthy aspects of an insecure leader:

  • They control people, systems, polices, and are micro managers.
  • They avoid partnering or hiring smart, talented, and people better then themselves.
  • They create an insecure work environment.
  • They avoid moving outside of their comfort zone.
  • They resist personal, organizational, or team growth or change.
  • They avoid calculated risks because of the fear of failure.
  • They don’t encourage or empower their people.
  • They guard against building open and strong relationships.
  • They see others through their insecurity.

Great leaders and great companies identify this type of leader immediately and take action.  The behaviors are painfully obvious.  Great companies rid themselves of these insecure leaders and more importantly, stop hiring people with these traits.  Great leaders do not listen to these insecure leaders, they do not fall for their unhealthy charm or their “opinions” of other co-workers that are threatening to their existence.  Insecure leaders do not care about the company or their co-workers.  They only care about themselves, their careers and feeding their egos at the expense of others.

No person or leader, however good they might be, is exempt from potentially becoming or being insecure. This is why it’s essential to be able to identify and eliminate insecurity from our life. To do this I suggest:

Lead yourself – The most important person you can lead is yourself.  An important aspect to leading is to become self aware. This mean you are aware and comfortable with your strengths, weaknesses, personality, temperament, and emotions. You know you have been uniquely made and you accept it. A powerful way to avoid insecurity is to be aware and have control of your inwards thoughts and dialog.

Develop trusted relationships- The people in your inner circle will either lead you forward or hold you back. This is why it’s essential to build friendships with secure, positive, and confident people. When you have trusted relationships, those people can help you spot areas you need to change (Insecurity is one area) and be a support for you.

Do you know any leaders like this?  If you do, call your CEO now and tell them.

Webman

Who Are You?

My friend Elizabeth found the following wisdom and suggested that I share it with you.  You will notice a very common them from last week’s Comfortably Numb http://wp.me/p1WXuM-ut  blog focused on doing the best you can do regardless of the mediocrity and excuses around you.  This is a re-post of some additional recommendations on getting you to focus on success.  Original article can be found at:

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130328120321-36052017-be-a-hero-five-steps-to-vanquish-any-problem?ref=email

1. No problem — Take the challenge

There is no such thing as a problem. What you call “a problem” is not a thing independent of you, but a situation you don´t like. It is “a problem for you.” To deal with it more effectively, put yourself in the picture. Think of it as your challenge. Take the difficulty as an opportunity to show your true colors.

I often catch myself saying, “the real problem is…” followed by the thought, “…that you don´t agree with me!” Equally often, my counterpart argues that “the real problem is…” that I don´t agree with him. Unless we recognize and give up these bad stories, we will each push hard to overcome the other. Push versus push equals stuck: a very expensive stalemate where we both spend tremendous energy for no result.

2. Drop “Who’s responsible?” – Be response-able

You didn’t do it. So what? You are suffering from it. People and things are out of control. It is tempting to blame them and play the part of the innocent victim. Don’t. The price of innocence is impotence. That which you blame you empower. Become the hero of the story; focus on what you can do to respond to your challenge.

The inspiring question is not, “why is this happening to me!” but “what is the best I can do when this happens?”

I once coached a financial services executive who would always blame external factors: regulation, competition, the economy, his employees, his boss, his peers. All these forces did impinge on his goals. It was the truth, but not the whole truth. The truth that he refused to accept, the one that blocked his growth, was that he was able to respond to these forces. (See the coaching questions I use, here.)

3. Forget what you don´t want – Focus on what you want.

Consider an issue that troubles you. What would you like to have happen? I ask this every time I coach. Infallibly, I learn what my client would like to not have happen anymore. This is a bad end for a hero´s journey. Avoiding what you don´t want will take your energy away from achieving what you do want.

Your brain doesn’t compute “no”. What you try to avoid you unconsciously create. If you don´t believe this, try to not think of a white bear right now and notice where your mind goes. Define a positive outcome precisely. Ask yourself, “What do I really want?” and visualize it in as much detail as you can. This will force you to put some flesh on the conceptual bones. Furthermore, ask yourself, “How would I know that I got what I wanted? What would I see? What would I feel?” In this way you will be sure that your vision has observable standards by which to measure success.

4. Take one eye off the ball – Go for the gold.

It’s not about hitting the ball; it’s about winning the game. Set your mind on what you are ultimately trying to achieve. Build a chain from means to ends, taking you from getting the job, to advancing your career, to feeling professionally fulfilled, to being happy. The ultimate goal and measure of success is happiness.

“What would you get, if you achieved X, which is even more important to you than X?” Ask yourself this question and discover that you never ask for what you really want—and neither does anybody else. We all ask for what we think is going to give us what we really want. Have you ever bought set of golf clubs hoping they would make you play better? And what would you get, if you played better, which is even more important to you than playing better?

5. Failure is not an option – Succeed beyond success.

Commit fully to achieve what you really want. Know that you deserve it and give it your best. This will make you more likely to get it. Success, however, is not the most important thing. To be a hero, pursue your goal ethically, as an expression of your highest values. Success may give you pleasure, but integrity leads to happiness.

Have a great day!

Webman

What I Like About You

Reprinted from http://www.marcandangel.com/ No reason for me to form my own opinion on this topic.  They already captured it. Because everything in life worth having is worth fighting for…

1.  Personal greatness.

Easy goals don’t exist.  A goal is a point of achievement that requires effort and sacrifice.  There are no esteemed ventures worth participating in that don’t require some level of effort and struggle.

Decades from now when you’re resting on your deathbed, you will not remember the days that were easy, you will cherish the moments when you rose above your difficulties and conquered goals of magnitude.  You will dream of the strength you found within yourself that allowed you to achieve what once seemed impossible.

Don’t do what’s easy, do what you’re capable of.  Astound yourself with your own greatness.

2.  Honesty and truth.

Personal transformation and growth can be remarkably rewarding, but only when the process of change is based on honesty and truth.  When you’re not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life, any attempt at transformation eventually leads to anger and frustration.  The truth always creeps back up on you; it does not cease to exist when you ignore it.

Being fake about any aspect of your existence slowly digs a dark void in your soul.  Life will simply not work for you if you don’t show up as YOU.  The truth may not be easy to deal with, but it will always set you free in the end.  Read The Four Agreements.

3.  A mind free of envy and jealously.

Envy and jealousy are costly diseases; you simply can’t be yourself within their confines.  When you give in to them, the price you pay is steep – a bad mood, an unproductive mind, an inferiority complex, and a chronic migraine headache.

Being envious of what someone else has is like drinking poison and waiting for it to somehow improve your situation.  Likewise, tearing someone else down in your jealous mind only tears you down in real life.  Rather than devastating yourself with contemplations of things you don’t have or don’t want to happen, think for a second about what you do have, what you do want going forward, and what you can do right now to make progress with realities you face.

4.  Positive change.

When you’re in a situation you don’t want to be in, the prospect of making any change at all can be very appealing.  Yet, unfocused change for the sake of change won’t necessarily bring you forward.  When you use your time and energy to make a change, be sure it’s a change that will not only move you away from where you are, but will also move you to a better place.

Realizing that you need to make a change can be a great source of motivation, but in order for this motivation to create positive change, you must apply it toward creating things of value.  Don’t fight against what you don’t want; create what you do want.  Don’t punish those who have caused you pain; let go and focus on something new that soothes your pain.  Don’t focus on what you are running away from; give your attention to the great things you want to create in your life.

5.   A willingness to learn from mistakes.

One mistake does not have to rule your entire life, and it can’t unless you let it.  This hour is a brand new hour with no faults in it yet.  Think about your mistakes and learn from them, but don’t attempt to carry their weight around with you.

The road to success is littered with mistakes.  Avoiding them is impossible.  The thing that will ultimately define your success or failure will not be how many mistakes you make, but how you handle them all.  The bottom line is that all mistakes die quickly, but you can’t live beyond what you know today if you aren’t willing to make mistakes and forgive yourself for them.  

6.  Persistence and patience.

Before you give up, think about how unfortunate it would be if the results you have worked to achieve required just a tiny dose of additional effort.  How disheartening would it be if the train you’ve been waiting for arrived five minutes after you walked out of the station?  Not only does success require diligent effort, it requires persistence and patience.

Rest when you are tired, but don’t quit.  You never know what’s just around the corner.  It could be everything you’ve been working for, or it might be just another mile marker on your journey.  Either way, when you keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day the next step you take will be the one that carries you to your goal.

7.  True love.

There is no soul mate out there who will solve all your problems.  There is no love at first sight that lasts without work and commitment.  But there is someone out there worth fighting for.  Not because they’re perfect, but because they’re imperfect in all the ways that are right for you.  You compliment each other’s flaws in a way that allows your two spirits to unite and operate more efficiently as one.

8.  Goodwill.

There is no greatness or peace of mind where there is betrayal of your own goodwill.  Always aim at complete sincerity of your thoughts, words and deeds.  If it is wrong, don’t do it.  If it is untrue, don’t repeat it.

Do what you do because you believe it’s the right thing to do.  Do the right thing even when nobody is looking.  Be one of the people who make a true difference in the world by leaving it a little better and more wholesome than you found it.

Are You Resolute?

Resolute – firmly resolved or determined; set in purpose or opinion.

What percent of Americans make New Years resolutions? 45%

How many keep them? 8%

Are you resolute?  Did you make a New Years resolution?  How committed are you to change and success in 2013?  Going along with the flow?  Swaying with the bamboo?  Are you committed to your own personal success?

Time to grab a glove and get in the game!  Time to get noticed, have people sit up and say “Whoa, that was awesome!”

Well the ball is in your court! (Enough sports references already) 🙂

Came across this terrific infographic over the holidays.  Check it out. Who are you?

Success

Thank you to MaryEllen Tribby (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maryellen-tribby)/ for this awesome representation.  Take a good look at this and reflect now on what behaviors you practice everyday (Be honest with yourself).  We all know too many people that exhibit the behaviors of unsuccessful people.  Sometimes we emulate their behavior because we think it will help us get that promotion or the recognition, so why can’t we do the same thing right?  Wrong, so wrong.  Do not compromise who you are.  Be a leader.

Have integrity, do not compromise what is right and most of all do not exhibit the behaviors of unsuccessful people.  They do not work.  Look in the mirror.  Who are You?

And that of course reminds me of a song:

Happy New Year!

Webman